Drama Queen

Title: Drama Queen
Author: Koe
Genre: Slash-fanfiction
Length: Ca 560 words.
Fandom: Hemlock Grove.
Pairing: Roman Godfrey/Peter Rumancek.
Tags: Angsty schmoop, blood, suicide attempt, fluff, H/C, stream of consciousness, spoilers.
Summary: “Feelings, nothing more than feelings.”

“Goddamn, Roman! Roman! ROMAN! Are you in there?” (you slip away)

“Roman, wake up! You son of a bitch (you’d smile at that one if you weren’t so weak), don’t do this you goddamn fool, you stupid, you goddamn fool… ROMAN, WAKE UP!”

You’re a fool alright. A babe in the woods, so to speak. A babe in all that really matters. Stuff just didn’t seem very important to you before. You think you should have reevaluated your priorities by now, especially now, but most of it still doesn’t matter. There are of course a few things that you’ll miss. Shelley. And Peter. That’s fairly new. And cutting.

“You selfish bastard, you… Look what you have done, now! (he’s manhandling you and all you feel is giddy) How could you, you bastard, why now! Why now?!!”

He knows why. Or he’s supposed to know. Or you didn’t actually want to kill yourself, but the taste and flow of blood is so soothing and the world is so cold and Peter wasn’t there…

He’s crying now, hot tears on your face, almost like blood but better, saltier, not tainted, purifying. And you don’t want to smile at him anymore, you want to cry with him, not because you are dying but because he is crying and he isn’t supposed to do that over you and he left! Why is he here at all? This could all be over and done with by now…

“I love you, you bastard! I love you! I couldn’t leave you, I just couldn’t! I tried, I really tried, but…”

Peter is crying and he gives you his blood: he’s torn open his wrist and he feeds it to you and you can’t swallow but you feel it trickle in and down and deep inside to that hungry, hungry core that won’t let you slip away, that would never let you slip away…

“Don’t leave me, Roman, I came back for you, I’ll never leave you, not again…”

His mama’s soothing voice: “He’d survive, you know. It’s their way: they just resurrect over and over again, unless you rip their very core out.”

What is she talking about? Why do everyone claim to know so much about you that you don’t know yourself? Your mum lost hers, no, you…

“Yeah, mum, I know, but he’s just killed himself! (he sobs) Don’t you think he deserves someone to care for him in his dying moment? Doesn’t everyone? Even beasts?”

“He does, son, he does. You’re doing good, Peter. You’re a good boy.”

But you can feel his blood twisting all through you and you can feel it feed your evil core and you’re not at all sure he’s doing good but you love it and you want to suck him down and devour him and he should have let you die. But he wouldn’t, you know, and you won’t die unless he does it (and you wouldn’t let anybody else) and you realize:

“I love you, Peter.” It comes spluttering out, barely recognizable, but you see that he gets it and he smiles and he holds you and it will be okay. All will be okay, because he’s got you and you two are one (his blood inside you) and all-will-be-okay.

“You fucking drama queen.” He says (and he looks ridiculous without hair and you giggle) and you can see him smile, finally.